Us humans seem to have an innate ability to feel inspired about a certain idea, and then spend a ton of time rationalizing all of the reasons that it would not work for us.
Life seems to give us clues in the form of our passions, talents, thoughts, and ideas and often even puts specific people in front of us who could guide us deeper into the intentions we have, and then we seem to sabotage our selves.
We naturally seem to think the most negative things – all of the reasons that the great idea we just had could not possibility work for us.
Sure – my neighbor seems to be doing good in life working for himself while raising a family – Ya But I couldn’t possibly do that because I don’t have A, B, C or D that he does.
Or Ya -– my friend lost a bunch of weight on this diet, But when I tried that last diet I didn’t lose any weight, so there’s no point in trying this one.
Or, I really want to try a new job, But I need the paycheck in this one, so I couldn’t possibly quit to ‘try’ and ‘take my chances’ at that new position at that new company.
We may even read self-help books, watch motivational videos, listen to that friend who always give us inspiring advice – initially we are definitely inspired to make some positive changes in life – then the Ya Buts creep in.
The Ya Buts are self sabotage at its best – instead of looking at all the reasons things Could work out, we look at all the reasons they couldn’t. What if this and what if that? Those what ifs are the poison that feeds the Ya Buts.
We may even get brave enough to try to make changes that we so desperately want, then the first ‘stumbling block’ hits, we stumble and lie in a daze and remember all the reasons that we knew that this wouldn’t work.
Then we berate ourselves for even trying and the poison infects us deeper. Because the next time, we will be too scared and discouraged from the first time we tried and ‘failed’.
We may then turn to people around us for encouragement to carry on, and despite possible best intentions of our friends and family – we may find further discouragement and more fuel to fire up all the reasons we shouldn’t do something that we desire so badly to do. Such as the parent who tells you that you are better off ‘working’ at a real job, instead of ‘fooling around’ trying to make a living being a musician. Or the friend who is tired of seeing you get hurt and complain that your ‘dream life’ isn’t working. They may not intend to bring your down, only to help you to not get hurt by trying something you may fail at.
Just remember – no one ever fails until they give up. And if you have a desire to do something, that’s your soul trying to message you and say – ‘wake up – you can do this’.
It’s not easy to live your passion – if it was everyone would be doing it. Unfortunately many are too scared to ever take the first step and try. Many others have tried and failed once, or maybe numerous times. But that’s not a reason to surrender to a life you don’t enjoy living.
The Ya Buts are just another test in the road of life. Our oh so human minds are naturally set to keep us in a state of ‘safety’ – and getting outside our comfort zone is interpreted as not safe by our human brain at first. But remember – our mind is like a monkey in a cage – it’ll bounce all over the cage – screeching the Ya Buts – however, you can also train that monkey.
How do you begin to train your ‘monkey in a cage mind’ and start to put the Ya Buts at rest?
1 – Start meditating – it’s the easiest and most effective first step to take. How do you meditate you may ask – the simplest way is to focus on your breathing. The breathes in and out – and every time a thought pops into your head, don’t judge yourself or the thought – just bring your mind back to your breathing. You can start with only 5 minutes a day. It’s super easy, relaxing and feels like a mental vacation.
2 – Pray – pray to God or whatever higher power in the Universe you believe in and relate to. If you don’t believe in God – reach out to your higher self and form a relationship with your unconscious and the energy of nature however you see it. In my opinion, it’s all related and no matter your beliefs, put it out there and ask for answers – you will receive them.
3 – See the Clues to the Questions Asked – We often struggle with an issue, pray about it, talk about it, obsess about it – and get so caught up in trying to ‘solve that problem’ that we miss any signs that can lead us to the solution. Be aware of the quiet clues that life always sends you. We often get so wrapped up in the busy-ness of life, our social media, texting, and life drama that we are like living zombies. So slow down, get off your phone and listen to life long enough to see a possible clue.
4 – Put The Possible Solution into Action Before Deciding it Doesn’t Work – After thinking about a problem for long enough – our brain decides on a solution. This is our minds way of putting the problem to rest – however, then the Ya Buts start – and we talk ourselves out of the solution we just came up with instead of trying it and putting the possible solution into action. Take the time to slow down and try the solution you came up with before doubting yourself about the fact it may work.
5 – Be Open to Alternative Possibilities – We often decide on a way to solve a current dilemma and get so stuck in our own outcome, that we completely close ourselves off energetically to any other outcome, which may be even better than what we thought of. When we remove that boulder of being stuck in our own thinking we often see many other ways it can work out.
6 – Don’t Rely Solely on Others for Support – That support you feel that you need is often not found in family, friends or even therapists – they can all help in moments, but it ultimately lies in discovering your own power and that begins with changing your own thought patterns.
7 – Think of All the Ways Things are Working Out for You Instead of All the Ways Things Are Not – We all have good days and bad days – days we wake up feeling positive and then we have the dark days. Don’t make important decisions about life on a dark day. If your dark days are outnumbering your light days, be sure to seek the help your soul needs. Start small by re teaching yourself how to see the light. Set an intention to yourself, that you will see all the positive ways things have worked out in your day (or take a baby step at least and make a point to see at least 1 in a day). If you enjoy writing, start a gratitude journal. If this is just another thing that you will feel down about ‘not getting around to doing it’, don’t give yourself a hard time over that yet – it defeats the purpose. Set an intention in the shower (we all have time for a shower in life, right), or before bed – an intention to see the ways things have went right in your day. It also helps you stay positive going into the next day.
So, no matter what your goals in life at the moment are – Remember, that it is completely normal for the Ya Buts to pop up. It’s just our job to retrain our brain to push the Ya Buts away, loosen up on the outcome of things, and go forward with a bit of faith in ourselves. I’m not sure it’s any human beings nature to be positive, I think we all have a natural tendency to question ourselves and in turn become negative, BUT the more we practise seeing the good in things, the less we see the bad. There is always good in life, we just have to choose to see it!
What Ya Buts did you choose to push away and what good did you choose to see in your day?
Comment below – we’d love to have you share parts of your story that may inspire and help others live a more passionate life!